It seems like a flash of experience I've lived, as if in a dream. I was in Hawai'i... and then woke up in my bed in Hamburg... but then the memory continues and I remember the long hours sitting on a plane and realized that my body WAS physically transported to the other side of the world, and I DID do the things that only seemed now like a projection of the mind.
World Dance Alliance- Americas Conference... UH Mānoa...seeing familiar faces... Oʻahu...then Maui...family.
I was nervous, I felt unprepared, I asked myself what was I doing going to this conference. I realized this was all a reflection of my insecurities, my "unknown" that was just plain old fear...of my work not being accepted, of what I was doing was wrong, and that it wasn't good enough. (Out come the strings and the artist's drama song begins). What I was presenting was bold. It was my truth, it came from my diary, I felt exposed. My class, yeah it was the first time I was teaching my contemporary style using THE storyteller of the Hawaiian Islands--the hula.
Most of the participants of the conference were not from Hawai'i, so that made it a little easier, but also harder to relate my work. I had hoped they at least got the feeling and the sense of who I am because of experiencing and watching, even though they might not have gotten the cultural depth. I would have liked more local people from O'ahu to come and watch it and share there thoughts. I would perform it again to an audience of people from Hawai'i if given the chance...because my presentation was so PLACE based. It was so CULTURE based. It was ME, and looking back on it that was good enough for me. It felt good to share, it felt good to say what I thought, to confront those feelings. I was fearful about what "people thought" and I realized someone always has something to say, and I know where I'm coming from... that my intention is good.
So I stand, and so I will proceed.
Hawai'i was a confidence boost, is was a reassuring "yes" for me, and it was an honor to perform on the land that inspires me. I hope to come back soon to work on something again!
A lot of movement, strength and aloha on the islands. I feel it! I mua!
Aloha ke akua...Aloha ʻāina
A hui hou!
(Please stay tuned, as a dance for film will be made from the performance I did).
Looking forward to seeing what comes out from that!
"A Perspective From an Island Girl...", UH Mānoa Art Department, July 2015.